Normal Again
by BuffyL
Summary: I'm bored. I was reading one of my stories, realized that I'd fogot something. This is the forgotten part.
1. Part 1

A/N I'm severely bored at the moment and I was reading over my story 9 Months. I realized that Angel said that he had been a part of that whole thing where Buffy went insane in "Normal Again" and I didn't put that in. So, me being my bored self, decided to rewrite that episode so it accommodates Angel and Conner.  
  
  
  
Normal Again  
  
Buffy walked through the darkened streets with her husband thinking not about what they were doing, but about Xander. He had been gone a week now and no one had heard from him. Willow kept her hopes up that he would e- mail her and let them all know he was ok, but that was a no go. Buffy just prayed that he would come home soon and relieve some of this worried stress.  
  
She laid her hands on her small protruding stomach and looked over at Angel. He was concentrated on the houses they walked by looking for the number of one of the houses on the list he carried in his hands. *Hopefully the last.* Buffy thought. They had been walking around practically all night and her feet hurt. Usually they never hurt this bad, but she was pregnant after all.  
  
Angel looked down at her and Buffy tried to stifle a yawn. "It's the last one. We can go home right after."  
  
"I'm not tired. Just bored." Buffy replied.  
  
"Sure, that's why those bags under your eyes are so big."  
  
"Hey, don't make fun. I'm the hormonal one here. I'm like a ticking time bomb, one wrong move and I could explode in a blast of emotions."  
  
Angel chuckled. He took her hand and led her up a driveway. They started to peek into windows that were darkened and dusty.  
  
"I thought this place was rented out?" Buffy asked.  
  
"According to the list it is."  
  
Buffy sighed and left to find the back of the house. All she found was a dark alley with some trash and an abandoned car and a pickup truck. She was about to go back to Angel, but something dropped behind her and Buffy turned to face it. Of course, it was a demon.  
  
"Oh, hi." Buffy said. The wax-like demon growled at her. "You didn't by chance happen to just eat a couple of nerds, did you?"  
  
The demon took a swing at her and she leaned back to avoid it. It swung again and then tried a roundhouse kick, which Buffy ducked underneath. She blocked a punch and punched it in the stomach, then kicked it back. The demon hit her and she went down. It grabbed her and threw her against the car. She landed on the hood, sat up, and kicked the demon with both feet. As it reeled back, she stood up on the hood. The demon went to punch her and she leapt up onto the car's roof. The demon punched the hood where she just been.  
  
It tried to hit Buffy's legs but she jumped up, crouched on the hood and kicked the demon again. She did a flip off the car onto the ground while kicking the demon again, and it went down. Buffy picked up a metal garbage can and slammed it down onto the demon. It got up as she raised the can for another blow. The demon shoved the garbage can out of Buffy's hands, and then hit her in the face. She spun around and ended up with her face pressed against the car window. The demon grabbed her from behind. She spun around again and hit it. The demon reeled backward. They traded kicks and the demon's head went through the car window, breaking it. A long thin bony spike suddenly shot out of its knuckle. The demon struggled with its head and shoulders still inside the car. Buffy grabbed it and it elbowed her off, turned around, grabbed her. It held her tightly against its body. The demon raised its hand with the spike still sticking out of it. Buffy saw the spike for the first time and looked alarmed. The demon stabbed the spike into her shoulder just as Angel rounded the corner. Buffy screamed.  
  
Suddenly, a warm light enveloped her and then she was struggling and screaming as two men tried to put a needle in her arm.  
  
"You're gonna hurt yourself!" One of the men said to her.  
  
"She's gonna break the needle." The other one said to the man talking to her. He withdrew the needle from her arm. "We're gonna have to strap her down!"  
  
Buffy looked wide-eyed around the room and realized where she was. Her struggles started to stop as she stared more intently out the door's window and saw more people milling around out in a hallway. The man with the needle inserted it again and finished putting the fluid in her. Her eyes slowly closed and she was enveloped again with the warm light.  
  
  
  
Angel held an unconscious Buffy in his arms. He had come running when he had heard sounds of a struggle coming from the alley and found Buffy pinned in the arms of a demon with a long spike jutting out of its hand. Before he could get to her, the demon had shoved the spike into her arm and dropped her to the ground, running away. Now he held her in his arms leaning against the car. She wasn't that heavy, even with the weight in front of her.  
  
"Come on Buffy. Wake up." Angel said as he stroked her cheek and hair.  
  
Her eyes suddenly snapped open and she struggled to grab her arm. Angel let her and she looked around in confusion and pain. Her eyes finally focused on Angel and she nearly fell to the ground.  
  
"Whoa!" He caught her. "I got ya. Don't worry."  
  
"Angel?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Yeah baby, it's me. Are you ok?"  
  
"Where.."  
  
"Shh, let's just get you home ok? I wanna find out what that demon did to you. Can you walk?"  
  
Buffy shook her head a little to clear her brain and then nodded up at him. They walked off towards their house. Angel's arm around her waist to make sure she was ok. As soon as they were home, he put her to bed and curled up beside her. She laid her head on his chest and wrapped her arm around his stomach as she twined her legs with his. Buffy slept fitfully and Angel had a hard time trying to restrain her. Whatever this demon had done to her, it was affecting him too. He could feel that there was something wrong with her. They would figure it out soon enough.  
  
  
  
The next day, Buffy stood in the kitchen watching the water run as she was doing the dishes. Dawn walked in and Buffy barely even registered that her sister was talking to her. Angel walked in and stared at Buffy. He was worried about her. She had said that she was fine last night, that it was just the shock of being stabbed that had made her weird. Now that he saw her watching the water run and not listening to Dawn, he knew something was up.  
  
"Buffy?" Dawn asked. Buffy didn't look up at first. "Buffy?"  
  
This time she did look up, but it wasn't to look at her sister and her husband, it was to look at a doctor in a white doctor's coat.  
  
"Come on, it's time for your drugs." The doctor said.  
  
Buffy started to breath heavy and stare harder at the doctor, but the white light took her over and she was staring at her sister again. "What?"  
  
"I said, if I didn't know any better, I'd think you were on drugs." Dawn said as she headed out the door and went to school.  
  
"Okay. Good."  
  
Angel walked up to her and put his hand to her forehead. She was her usual temperature. "Are you ok sweetie?"  
  
"Huh? Yeah, I'm fine. Just dazed I guess."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Yeah. Hey, look at the time. At was supposed to call Cordelia and say hey."  
  
Buffy walked out of the kitchen and went to the phone. Angel stared after her even more worried now that she was avoiding him. She just kept getting stranger. He needed to know what that demon had done to her. He needed to know if it was going to affect their 5 and a half month old baby growing inside of her.  
  
  
  
Buffy walked down the stairs in an oversized beige turtleneck and comfortable jeans that rested below her stomach's bulge. She found Willow sitting at the table in front of her laptop. Buffy walked in and sat down.  
  
"What'cha doin'?" Buffy asked.  
  
"I'm online, checking to see if Xander emailed." Willow said.  
  
"Any luck?"  
  
"No such."  
  
"Well, maybe Anya found him and they're trying to work it out." Willow shrugged. "How come you're all, home, hearth, and DSL anyway? I thought you were gonna go see Tara."  
  
"Saw her. Saw her completely."  
  
"Ouch. Just got a scratch from all that brittle."  
  
"It's.." Willow shut her laptop. "..when I was seeing her, she was seeing someone else. A girl."  
  
"You mean.."  
  
"I mean ... not 'seeing' seeing. Well, maybe. I don't know, it was inconclusive, and I didn't stick around to find out. Might have magicked my fist through a wall or something."  
  
"Will, I'm sorry."  
  
"I mean, they're probably just friends. I press my lips against my friends' all the time."  
  
"I'm sure they're just friends. Once you fall for Willow, you stay fallen."  
  
Angel came in from the stairs and went to stand next to Buffy. "She speaks nothing but the truth Willow."  
  
"Thanks guys." Willow said. She was about to say more, but the doorbell didn't let her.  
  
The door opened and Xander walked in. "Hi."  
  
"Xander?" Willow asked as they all walked to the door, Buffy in the lead.  
  
"I'm back."  
  
"Xander?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Xander, you're here!" Angel said.  
  
Buffy, Willow, and Xander shared a huge group hug and then moved away to allow Xander and Angel to hug.  
  
"We missed you. Where were you?" Angel asked.  
  
"I know. I tried calling, but I couldn't without.."  
  
"Hey. You don't need to explain to us." Buffy said.  
  
They all moved back to the dining room. Willow and Buffy taking their seats back up and Angel and Xander remained standing, Angel next to Buffy once again.  
  
"Right. Is she here?"  
  
"Oh, no..you wanna find her?" Willow asked.  
  
"I need to. Her suitcase is gone and some of her stuff. There's a Closed sign on the Magic Box, which, like, chills me to the bone."  
  
"She left a couple of days ago."  
  
"Was she looking for me? Before she left, did she say anything?"  
  
"You mean, between sobs? There was mostly just wheezing."  
  
"She was a little.. She was.. kinda broken." Buffy said.  
  
"I don't know how stuff got so mixed up! I blew it." Xander said.  
  
"No. Well.. maybe it wasn't the best time to break up with her, but.."  
  
"No. It wasn't about breaking up. I love her, and god, I miss her so much."  
  
"So, you left her at the altar, but you still wanna.." Angel started.  
  
"You still wanna date?" Buffy finished.  
  
"I guess. I know that I'm a better person with her in my life. But things got so complicated with the wedding, and with my family, and with her.. demons, and.. what if it all goes to hell, a..and forever? But then I left.. and ever since.. I've had this painful hole inside. And I'm the idiot that dug it out. I screwed up real bad." Xander said.  
  
"Hey, we all screw up."  
  
Xander just looked at Buffy.  
  
"You'll get her back." Angel said. He laid a hand on Buffy's shoulder and she responded by putting her hand over his.  
  
"Yeah, well.. there's not really an ancient prophecy that can force us back together." Xander said.  
  
"It didn't force us Xander. It was out choice. Prophecies don't rule our lives. We made our own decisions." Buffy said. "And it'll be the same for you and Anya. You have choices to make. Whether you make them together, well, that's up to you." Xander stared at the floor.  
  
  
  
Buffy and Angel walked hand in hand through the graveyard. The talk with Xander earlier that afternoon hadn't been the best reunion in the world. Not to mention that Angel was still worried about Buffy. She was still avoiding him every time he brought up the demon that had stabbed her.  
  
"You lookin' for me?" Spike said behind them.  
  
"Really not." Buffy shot back. She and Angel kept walking.  
  
"Oh. Right then. Off you go. Did you cry?"  
  
Buffy stopped, pulling Angel with her. "What?"  
  
"The wedding. Two hearts joined for eternity, great pelting showers of rice and so forth."  
  
"You didn't hear." She looked at Angel and walked back towards Spike.  
  
"What? Families get out of hand? Tear the place apart?"  
  
"No. Well, yes, absolutely. But.. Xander left. The wedding didn't happen."  
  
Spike sat down shocked. "Well. Gotta say.. I didn't see that coming."  
  
"It was awful. Anya was devastated." Angel said as he helped Buffy sit down.  
  
"Is that right?"  
  
"And, Xander.. thinks maybe they can still get back together, but.. he hurt her a lot." Buffy said, looking slightly at Angel. She sort of knew of Anya felt.  
  
"Yeah, well.. some people can't see a good thing when they've got it."  
  
Spike and Buffy glared at each other as Xander and Willow walked up to them.  
  
"Spike." Xander said. "I shoulda known you'd be tagging along."  
  
"Hey, guys. I, uh.. I found Spike and was, uh, trying to figure out what kind of dangerous contraband he had." Buffy said. Angel knew about Spike and Buffy, but Xander and Willow didn't. He had promised her that he wouldn't tell them.  
  
"Tell you what, Slayer. Let me get out of your way. I'll stop bothering you. I got a slayer of my very own waiting somewhere for me." Spike said.  
  
"Yeah, maybe you should do that, Spike, just run along." Xander said.  
  
"You know, I guess you know all about that, don't you? The king of the big exit. Heard it brought the house down."  
  
"I don't need this crap from you."  
  
"Right. Let's not listen to Spike. Might get a bit of the truth on you." Spike said more to Buffy as he got up in Xander's face.  
  
"Okay, okay. Hey. Calm now. Let's, uh, turn around and release this very manly thing the other way." Willow said trying to step between them. The two wouldn't budge and Angel came over to help pry the two men apart.  
  
"I forgot. Willy Wannabite can't hurt me. Dumb to pick a fight, I guess." Xander said.  
  
"Xander." Angel warned.  
  
Buffy watched as a wave of dizziness grabbed her and she sank to her knees. "Guys.." No one heard her.  
  
"More than happy to beat you right through the pain, you pathetic poof." Spike said.  
  
Xander punched Spike in the face and Spike went down.  
  
Buffy managed to get up on the stone bench. "Guys..don't"  
  
Suddenly that warm light washed over her again and she was back in the mental institution. A man stood in front of her.  
  
"Buffy, can you hear me?" the man asked. He was in a doctor's coat.  
  
"What is this?" Buffy asked. She was curled up in the corner again.  
  
"Do you know where you are Buffy?"  
  
"Sunnydale?" she asked, confused.  
  
"No, none of that's real, none of it. You're in a mental institution. You've been with us now for six years. Do you remember?"  
  
Buffy frowned in extreme confusion and lifted her head again to look at the doctor. The bed with the restraints was still there. The light came again and she was back in the graveyard.  
  
Spike knocked over his groceries as he continued to fall from Xander's punch. Angel noticed Buffy as soon as Spike wasn't there to block his view of her. He rushed over to her and held her up.  
  
"Buffy? Are you ok?" Angel asked.  
  
"What happened?" Willow asked.  
  
Buffy tried to say something, but the light came again and the doctor was back in front of her instead of Angel. He reached out to touch her, but she jerked and tried to shove herself further into the corner. Out of pure panicked confusion, she turned her head and slammed it continuously against the wall.  
  
"It's ok Buffy. Buffy, it's ok." The doctor said. He turned his head to look at someone behind him.  
  
"Buffy?" Joyce's loving voice asked.  
  
Buffy stared at her in amazement as Joyce came forward and crouched down to bring herself to Buffy's level. Hank stood behind her leaning down with hands on his knees.  
  
"Welcome home sweetie." Joyce said.  
  
"Mom?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Oh, baby, you're really here."  
  
"Dad?"  
  
"She's lucid. Keep talking, maybe the sound of your voice will ground her." The doctor said.  
  
"Sweetheart.. we've missed you very much. Honey, can you hear me?" Hank asked.  
  
Buffy started to cry. She laid her head in her hands and tried to lean forward.  
  
"Oh, Buffy, stay with us, please." Joyce said.  
  
The light came again and Buffy was hunched over, head in her hands and leaning into Angel.  
  
"Oh.. No" Buffy said.  
  
"Here, let's get her back to my crypt." Spike said. "It's just over here."  
  
"Spike, just go, okay? She's my wife, I'll take care of her." Angel growled.  
  
Angel and Willow helped Buffy to stand. Her hand went to her stomach to check to see if her bulge was there. It was.  
  
"No guys, I'm ok. I'm ok." Buffy said.  
  
"Come on, Willow, help me get her home." Angel said.  
  
They walked off and left Spike to fend for himself. After a little bit, Angel swept Buffy into his arms and carried her. She protested at first, but Angel told her it was just a precautionary. 


	2. Part 2

Normal Again (part 2)  
  
When they got home, Angel took Buffy upstairs and let her get changed into a white shirt with a hood and a pair of black sweat pants. She let him put her hair into a small ponytail and then they went downstairs. Willow went and got a glass of water as Xander and Dawn sat on the couch and Buffy sat in the chair facing them. Angel sat on a chair next to her and held her hand. Willow came back in and handed Buffy the water and then sat next to Xander on the couch.  
  
"I've been having these flashes. Hallucinations, I guess." Buffy said.  
  
"Since when?" Willow asked.  
  
"Uh.. The night before last." She looked at Angel. "We were, uh, checking houses on that list you gave me, Will, and looking for Warren and his pals.. and then, bam! Some kind of gross, waxy demon-thing poked me."  
  
"And when you say poke.." Xander asked.  
  
"In the arm. It stung me or something, and.. then I was like.. no. It.. it wasn't 'like.' I was in an institution. There were, um.. doctors and.. nurses and.. and other patients. They.. they told me that I was sick. I guess crazy. And that, um, Sunnydale and.. and all of this, it.. none of it.. was real."  
  
"Oh, come on, that's ridiculous! What? You think this isn't real just because of all the vampires and demons and ex-vengeance demons and a vampire with a soul and the sister that used to be a big ball of universe- destroying energy?" Xander asked, then he frowned.  
  
"I know how this must sound, but.. it felt so real. Mom was there."  
  
"She was?" Dawn asked.  
  
"Dad, too. They were together.. like they used to be.. before Sunnydale."  
  
Angel wrapped his arm around Buffy and she shifted so she could lay her head on his shoulder.  
  
Willow stood. "Okay! All in favor of research?" Xander raised his hand. "Motion passed. All right, Xander, you hit the demon bars. Dig up any info on a new player in town. Dawnie, you can help me research. We'll hop on-line, check all the.."  
  
Buffy didn't hear the rest. The light came again and she was sitting in a chair, facing the doctor.  
  
"..possibilities for a full recovery, but we have to proceed cautiously. If we're not careful.." The doctor started.  
  
Joyce cut him off. "Wait. Are you saying that Buffy could be like she was before any of this happened?"  
  
Joyce and Hank were in chairs next to her. Buffy's chair was a little separated from them however. She drew her knees up to her chest and realized that her stomach was flat.  
  
"Mrs. Summers, you have to understand the severity of what's happened to your daughter. For the last six years, she's been in an undifferentiated type of schizophrenia."  
  
"We know what her condition is. That's not what we're asking." Hank said.  
  
"Buffy's delusions are multi-layered. She believes she's some type of hero."  
  
"The slayer?" Joyce asked.  
  
"The Slayer, right, but that's only one level. She's also created an intricate latticework to support her primary delusion. In her mind, she's the central figure in a fantastic world beyond imagination. She's surrounded herself with friends, most with their own superpowers.. who are as real to her as you or me. More so, unfortunately. Together they face.. grand overblown conflicts against an assortment of monsters both imaginary and rooted in actual myth. Every time we think we're getting through to her, more fanciful enemies magically appear.."  
  
"How did I miss.." Buffy said to herself.  
  
"..and she's.."  
  
"Warren and Jonathan, they did this to me!" Buffy tried to scramble out of her seat, but the doctor stopped her.  
  
"Buffy, it's all right. They can't hurt you here. You're with your family."  
  
"Angel?"  
  
"The husband. The uh.. The vampire with the soul?" Hank asked.  
  
"Dawn?"  
  
"That's the sister right?" Joyce asked.  
  
"A magical key. Buffy inserted Dawn into her delusion, actually rewriting the entire history of it to accommodate a need for a familial bond. Buffy, but that created inconsistencies, didn't it? Your sister, your friends, all of those people you created in Sunnydale, they aren't as comforting as they once were. Are they? They're coming apart. The only one that we really need to worry about holding her back is this Angel. She truly believes that she loves this vampire and is pregnant by him." Buffy whimpered at the sound of her husband being denounced like that and she lowered her head to try to block it all out.  
  
"Buffy, listen to what the doctor's saying, it's important." Joyce said.  
  
"Buffy, you used to create these grand villains to battle against, including your Angel. And now what is it? Just ordinary students you went to high school with. No gods or monsters.. just three pathetic little men who like playing with toys." The doctor said.  
  
Buffy stared at him in anger. She loved Angel. She was pregnant by him. Their dreams were finally coming true and this doctor was saying it wasn't real. Buffy sat back in her chair and put her hands soothingly over her stomach. She actually longed for the bulge to be there. And with that thought, the light came again and she was back in Angel's arms. Her hands did rest upon her protruding stomach.  
  
"Buffy?" Angel asked.  
  
Buffy shook her head and bolted put of the chair. She went to the couch and sat down. Angel looked at her as she picked up a picture of her, her mother, and her father. Joyce was sitting in a swing with Buffy in her lap while Hank stood behind them, peering through the chains of the swing. As she stared at the picture, Angel came over and squeezed into the space between Buffy and the arm of the couch. Buffy laid her head on his shoulder again as she continued to stare at the picture.  
  
After a while, Willow came in. She carried a piece of paper in her hand.  
  
"Look, Buffy, I found the demon. Fits your and Angel's description and symptoms perfectly."  
  
Buffy looked pensive as she put down the photo and looked at the picture of the demon.  
  
"Look, is this it?" Willow asked. "See, it's gonna be okay. Its pokey stinger carries an antidote to its own poison."  
  
"I feel so lost." Buffy said quietly.  
  
"I know. You're confused. It's, it's that crazy juice inside you."  
  
"It's more than that. Even before the demon.. I've been so detached."  
  
"We've all been kind of slumming."  
  
"Every day I try to snap out of it. Figure out why I'm like that."  
  
"Buffy, look at me." Buffy looked at Willow. "You are not in an institution. You have never been in an institution."  
  
Buffy paused and looked up at Angel. He was frowning. He knew the truth. He had been there the whole time. She looked back down at the picture in her lap and then whispered, "Yes I have."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Back in LA. Back when she saw her first vampires." Angel said.  
  
"I got so scared. I told my parents and they completely freaked out. They thought there was something seriously wrong with me. So they sent me to a clinic." Buffy said.  
  
"You never said anything." Willow said, shocked.  
  
"I was only there a couple of weeks. I stopped talking about it, and they let me go. Eventually my parents just.. forgot."  
  
"God, that's horrible."  
  
Buffy started to sob and Angel pulled her closer into him. "What if I'm still there? What if I never left that clinic?"  
  
"Buffy.. Buffy, you're not. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. But, i.. it's the past. You've got to trust me. We're gonna get you that antidote. Xander's hunting the demon right now."  
  
"Alone? Will, he can't. It's too strong."  
  
"Oh, it's ok. We got help."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Spike."  
  
"Spike?"  
  
"And Faith."  
  
"Why didn't you ask Angel?"  
  
"You were sleeping. Willow came in to ask, but I told her to send Spike and Faith. I wanted to stay here and take care of you. Angel said.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Come on. Let's get you into bed. You'll be more comfortable."  
  
"Ok."  
  
Angel helped Buffy up and led her upstairs. She went to her bed and curled up by her nightstand. He went to his side of the bed and sat next to her, legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles. Buffy stared off into space. Angel supposed that she was just really confused and wanted to find a place where she could just hide.  
  
After a while, Buffy leaned over and laid her head on his shoulder again and he held her tight. If this wasn't real, she was going to be crushed. Angel was still the one freaky thing in her whole freaky world that still made sense. But right now, that world was being shattered because of the possibility that it didn't exist.  
  
Dawn came into the room carrying a warm mug. "I made you some tea."  
  
Buffy didn't look at her. Her mind was still in space. "Thanks." Dawn put the mug on the table. "I'm ok Dawn."  
  
"The, uh, thousand-yard stare really helps sell that."  
  
Buffy didn't respond. Angel shifted slightly and noticed that her temperature had risen. He raised his hand and felt her forehead and cheek. "You're burning up sweetie."  
  
"I should be taller than you." Buffy said to Dawn.  
  
"Maybe you're not done growing." Dawn replied.  
  
"Coming apart."  
  
"What's coming apart?"  
  
"We have to try harder, make things better."  
  
"I'm trying."  
  
"Your grades.. stealing. Willow's been doing your chores, hasn't she?"  
  
"What? No, i..it's.. it's the fever. It's cooking your brain."  
  
Buffy leaned forward and grabbed Dawn's arm. "We have to deal with these things, Dawn, we.."  
  
Angel pulled her back as the light came again and Joyce was sitting in front of her.  
  
"You don't have a sister, Buffy." Joyce told her.  
  
"Dawn?" Buffy asked, looking around in terrified confusion. Her dad was sitting in a chair at the foot of the bed, looking at her and Joyce.  
  
"No honey. Say it. It'll help you believe it."  
  
"I.. don't.. have a sister. I know I.. I didn't grow up with her. These monks, they.. they made her."  
  
"It's your mind, just playing tricks on you." Hank said.  
  
"You're our little girl, Buffy. Our one and only. We've missed you so much. Mom and Dad just want to take you home and take care of you." Joyce said.  
  
She put her hand on Buffy's cheek and Buffy reached out to touch her mother's. The light came again and she was stroking Dawn's cheek. Startled, Buffy jerked away.  
  
"I'm not even there, am I?" Dawn asked.  
  
"What?" Buffy squeezed her eyes shut and then forced them open.  
  
"You said it a second ago. You don't have a sister." Dawn stood up. "It's your ideal reality, and I'm not even a part of it."  
  
"Dawn, I.. I didn't mean.."  
  
"I have to go finish my chores." Dawn said, running from the room.  
  
Buffy started to cry. Angel pulled her to him and let her sob. "I didn't mean.. It's not my ideal reality. I want.. I need.. Mommy."  
  
"Shh, love. It'll be ok. I'm right here." Angel said softly. "Sleep now."  
  
She did just that. Buffy laid her head on his broad shoulder and slept. It wasn't peaceful for her, that he knew. But at least she wasn't thrashing like she had. Angel didn't sleep that night, just like the night before. He was too worried about Buffy and Conner's safety.  
  
Willow entered the room with a mug.  
  
"Buffy, sweetie, wake up." Angel said.  
  
Willow walked up to them. "Got yummy antidote goodness for you."  
  
"What happened?" Buffy asked.  
  
Willow gave her the mug. "It took a little longer than I'd hoped. No magic and all. Went boom twice, but then I got it. Just.. when it's cool, drink it all down, and.. everything should go back to normal."  
  
"You never stop coming through. Thank you, Willow."  
  
Willow smiled and walked to the door. Spike appeared there.  
  
"Buffy, I'm going to help Willow ok?" Angel said. She looked at him blankly. He kissed her unresponsive lips and went to Willow at the door.  
  
"How is she?" Spike asked.  
  
"Make sure she drinks all that. I'm going with Willow to let Dawn know that everything's gonna be okay."  
  
The two left and Spike walked further into Buffy's room. "You all right?"  
  
"You need to leave me alone. You're not part of my life." Buffy said, not looking at him.  
  
"Fine, then." He turned to leave, but stopped and looked back at her. "You know, but I hope you don't think this an.." He tried to come further into the room, but a beam of light stopped him and he jumped back, frustrated. "I hope you don't think this antidote's gonna rid you of that nasty martyrdom. See, I figured it out, luv. You can't help yourself. You're not drawn to the dark like I thought. You're addicted to the misery. It's why you won't tell your pals about us. Might actually have to be happy if you did. They'd either understand and help you, god forbid.. or drive you out.. where you can finally be at peace, in the dark. With me. Either way, you'd be better off for it, but you're too twisted for that. Let yourself live, already. And stop with the bloody hero trip for a sec. We'd all be the better for it. You either tell your friends about us.. or I will."  
  
He started to leave, but Buffy stopped him. "You think you can stop me from loving Angel?"  
  
"No, but I know what you need."  
  
"No, you don't. What I need is Angel. I don't need anything else."  
  
"That's where your wrong slayer. I may have Faith, but at lease she knows where she belongs. You.. you can't decide where you want to be." With that, Spike stormed out of the room.  
  
Buffy stared after him. He was right. A part of her knew that. She made an anguished face and held the mug up. She paused, then brought the mug up to her lips, then paused again. She stared off in front of her, pondering. Then, slowly, she turned and held out the mug. Buffy tipped it over and let the contents pour out into the trash basket. Putting the mug on her night table, she let the light come back over her and then she was sitting on her bed in the mental institution.  
  
"Buffy." The doctor said to her.  
  
She looked at him tearfully and said, "I don't wanna go back there. I wanna be healthy again. What do I have to do?" Buffy looked at her mom. "Oh.. please, help me. I..I wanna go home, with you and dad."  
  
"I know, Buffy. But first you've gotta get better." Joyce said.  
  
"It's not gonna be easy, Buffy. You have to take it one step at a time. You have to start ridding your mind of those things that support your hallucinations. You understand? There are things in that world that you cling to. For your delusion, they're safe-holds, but for your mind they're traps. We have to break those down." The doctor told her.  
  
"Slaying?" Buffy asked.  
  
"Yes.. but I'm talking about those things you want there. What keeps you going back."  
  
"My friends. Angel?"  
  
"That's right. Last summer, when you had a momentary awakening, it was your friends that pulled you back in."  
  
"They're not really your friends, Buffy. They're just.. tricks keeping you from getting healthy." Joyce said.  
  
"You have to do whatever it takes to convince yourself of that, Buffy. Whatever it takes." 


	3. Part 3

Normal Again (part 3)  
  
Buffy stared off again as the light came back. She got up from her bed and walked downstairs to find everyone. Entering the living room, she bumped into Willow and Angel.  
  
"Oh, Buffy, I.. I didn't see you. We were just coming to check on you. You feeling better? Did the antidote work?" Willow asked.  
  
"I'm.. still pretty dazed, but, uh, better." Buffy replied.  
  
"No more cuckoo's nest? Well, we still have the big bad all tranked out down in the basement. In case it didn't work and we need more parts."  
  
"It'll be nice to see you all better." Angel said.  
  
"Thanks." Buffy said.  
  
"I can make you some food, something big with energy, help you clear your head. Come on." Angel took her hand and led her into the kitchen. "Oh, I'll be right back. I need to get something from the car."  
  
Angel left Willow and Buffy standing in the kitchen. Willow turned to watch him go, leaving her back open to Buffy. Which was when the blonde attacked. She slammed Willow on the back and sent her face first into the wall, knocking her out. Moving swiftly, Buffy grabbed some duct tape and wrapped Willow's feet and hands together. She took a small strip and placed it over Willow's mouth. Then, Buffy dragged the former witch down into the basement and left her. By the time Buffy got back upstairs, Angel was coming back in.  
  
"Hey Buffy, where'd Willow go?" Angel asked.  
  
"Oh, um, I think she said she needed to use the bathroom." Buffy answered.  
  
"Ok." He looked at her funny. "Well, lets get to work on that brunch, huh?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
He started to gather things up to make the brunch and Buffy watched him.  
  
*Angel's going to be harder to take down.* She thought to herself. *He's going to take a bit of work.*  
  
Angel put a frying pan on the stove, but didn't turn it on. He turned to the sink and started to peel something over it, leaving his back open to Buffy. Silently, she slipped over and grabbed the pan. His back was still turned as she crept up behind him and raised the frying pan. Sensing her, he turned around just in time to have Buffy slam the pan onto his cheek. He went flying back into the counter and landed hard on the floor. He wasn't completely out of it and was able to stand up and ward off the next blow.  
  
"Buffy! Stop." Angel said. He pried the pan out of her grasp and tossed it aside with a loud clang.  
  
She didn't stop though. Buffy threw punch after punch at Angel. He dodged a lot of them, but she was too quick. More blows landed on him than he could count and eventually, she got in one really good one and he was down. Quickly, she dragged him downstairs and tied him to a post with a thick rope. He was still out as she went upstairs and straightened up the mess in the kitchen.  
  
The light came back and she was in the corner now. Joyce sat on the bed and stared at her. Hank was not there at the moment, but Buffy knew that he was still near. The light came back again and she was standing at the sink staring at the frying pan she had hit Angel with.  
  
"Hello! I'm back! Clean and with the better smell now. Friends? Romans? Anyone?" Xander called. He came into the kitchen and saw Buffy standing at the sink. "Hey." She didn't respond. "Hey, there, sane girl. So did Willow get that antidote to you all right?"  
  
"Yeah. I'm better now."  
  
"Great. So, it's settled. We're, uh, we're real, right? Guess we should finish off that demon and drag it out of the basement. And tell me you're up for that. I so don't wanna see Spike right now. I mean, talk about losing touch. Hate to say it, but I almost feel sorry for the guy. Almost. The things the poor guy was saying.. I mean, I get it, you know. Been a part of the Buffy obsess.."  
  
Xander didn't get to finish. Buffy hit him in the face with the frying pan. He reeled back. Buffy dropped the pan, grabbed Xander and threw him against the kitchen island, her hands on his neck.  
  
"B..Buffy!" Xander gasped.  
  
She pulled him up again and hit him a couple of times. He went down. Buffy dragged him down the stairs and tossed him on the floor. Xander lifted his head and saw Angel attached to a pole and Willow bound and gagged on the floor.  
  
"Willow? Angel.." Xander managed before he passed out.  
  
Buffy tied Xander up and left to get Dawn. She walked to the bottom of the steps leading to the second floor and called up, "Dawn?"  
  
No one answered. Buffy went up the stairs and opened Dawn's door. The younger Summers was packing a bag.  
  
"Don't you knock?" Dawn asked.  
  
"I called for you." Buffy said.  
  
"Buffy, are you ok?"  
  
"Where are you going?"  
  
"I'm going over to Janice's, where they actually like having me around."  
  
"You're not going anywhere."  
  
"Why not? You want me gone anyway. What do you care?"  
  
"I care. You're going downstairs with the others. It's the only way I can get healthy."  
  
Dawn started to back away as Buffy stepped toward her. "What are you talking about? Buffy, you look sick. What are you doing? What's wrong with you?" Buffy tried to grab Dawn, but she jumped away. "Stay away from me!" She started to run, screaming, "Willow, help!" She ran into Willow's room and shut the door. "Buffy, please!"  
  
Buffy walked slowly down the hall. "You can't hide Dawn."  
  
"Talk to me. You're hallucinating."  
  
"I know. You're just a trap for my mind."  
  
"Buffy, please, listen to me. That asylum and those people, they're not real!"  
  
Buffy frowned and kicked the door open. Dawn was nowhere to be found. Buffy turned around and walked to Willow's door. Dawn gasped in surprise as Buffy stopped and stared.  
  
"Buffy.. look at me. I'm right here. You're my sister. I need you and love you. Somewhere inside you must know that's real."  
  
"Sure it is. 'Cause what's more real? A sick girl in an institution.."  
  
"Don't. Please. Listen to me."  
  
"Or some kind of super girl.. chosen to.. fight demons and.. save the world. That's ridiculous." Dawn quickly grabbed the door and slammed it in Buffy's face. Buffy kicked it open again. Dawn screamed and jumped back. "A girl who sleeps with the vampire she hates?! A girl that marries a vampire that she should have killed a long time ago and is now pregnant by him? Yeah, that makes sense."  
  
Dawn tried to run around the bed but Buffy rolled across it and wound up in front of Dawn. She grabbed Dawn by the arms and shoved her up against a dresser, then onto the floor. Dawn struggled as Buffy straddled her and pinned her down.  
  
"No! Buffy, stop! I'm real!" Dawn screamed.  
  
Buffy pulled the phone chord from the dresser and bound Dawn's wrists and feet with it. Then she practically carried a screaming Dawn down to the kitchen. Buffy still held her as she pulled out a large knife from one of the kitchen drawers. Dawn's eyes widened. "Buffy! Please! No!"  
  
Buffy held tightly to the knife and dragged Dawn down the steps. She dropped Dawn to the floor.  
  
"Buffy, stop it. I'll be good! I promise. You're not thinking. I'll.." Dawn cried. Buffy put a piece of duct tape over her mouth and left her squirming on the floor, squealing and whining.  
  
"It's ok Buffy, don't stress yourself." The doctor said.  
  
The light came again and she was back in her hospital room.  
  
"Honey, take your time." Joyce said.  
  
"Make it as easy on yourself as possible. There's nothing wrong with that."  
  
Buffy nodded and allowed the light to take her over again and bring her back to the basement. She looked over at Angel who was just now coming around. His eyes widened as he saw the knife clutched in her hand.  
  
"Buffy, what are you doing?" Angel asked.  
  
She walked past him and went behind the demon. Buffy reached out and undid the chains holding the thing. Angel started to struggle with the rope that held him, but he wasn't able to budge them. She just stood and watched as the demon advanced.  
  
"Buffy, help me! I need my hands sweetie!" Angel said.  
  
Buffy backed into the little alcove under the stairs and watched anxiously as Angel fought with his legs against the demon.  
  
The demon grabbed Angel's shoulder and pulled, hard enough to break the ropes binding him. It threw him across the room. He slammed into a refrigerator and fell down.  
  
The light came again and Joyce was calling her name.  
  
"Buffy?"  
  
Buffy jumped off the bed, whimpering. She ran over to the corner and pressed herself into it, twitching and whimpering. Joyce looked concerned and walked towards her.  
  
"I..It's gonna be okay, sweetheart. Whatever it is, it's not real, remember? Just keep concentrating. I'm right here, sweetie."  
  
Buffy slid down the wall as the light came back.  
  
"Buffy! Help me!" Angel said. He was trying to stand back up, but the demon kept knocking him down. "Buffy, help!"  
  
"Willow?" Tara called from the top of the steps.  
  
Buffy looked up in surprise as Tara came partway down the stairs and peered down. Willow tried to call to Tara through her gag.  
  
"Eximete!" Tara said. The bonds on Willow, Dawn, and Xander disappear and they all sat up. "Vis zenobia! S..solvere!" The metal shelf went flying into the demon and knocked it back. Tara started to walk down the steps, but Buffy reached up and grabbed her ankle. She flew forward down the steps.  
  
"No! Tara!" Willow cried.  
  
The light came again and Buffy was in the corner, Joyce crouching in front of her.  
  
"I don't know.." Buffy said.  
  
"Buffy, look at me."  
  
"I don't know. I don't know."  
  
"I believe in you. You're a survivor, you can do this."  
  
Buffy was so conflicted. The light came again and she was staring at her stomach, the knife clutched firmly in her hand.  
  
"Buffy, don't!" Angel yelled as he saw her holding the knife over her stomach.  
  
She glanced up at the fight going on in front of her. Xander jumped up and attacked the demon, which was attacking Dawn. Dawn screamed. Angel jumped on the demon from behind. It grabbed him and threw him down.  
  
"Angel, no!" Buffy said.  
  
The demon was again struggling with Dawn. It threw her across the room, still screaming, as Willow picked up a metal baseball bat. Willow started hitting the demon with the bat, then it grabbed the bat and shoved her down. Buffy looked anguished and started to call Angel's name as the light came back.  
  
"ANGEL!"  
  
"Buffy? Buffy! Buffy, fight it. You're too good to give in, you can beat this thing. Be strong, baby, ok? I know you're afraid. I know the world feels like a hard place sometimes, but you've got people who love you. Your dad and I, we have all the faith in the world in you. We'll always be with you." Joyce said.  
  
Buffy started to calm down as the words that Joyce was saying sunk in.  
  
"You've got.. a world of strength in your heart. I know you do. You just have to find it again. Believe in yourself." Joyce continued.  
  
Buffy turned her head to look at her mother. "You're right. Thank you." Joyce smiled.  
  
"Good bye." Buffy looked away.  
  
"Buffy!?"  
  
The light washed over her a final time and then she was standing in her basement. She walked forward, kicked the demon in the chest, hit it, and shoved it against the wall. She punched it, threw it into the washer/dryer, walked over to it, and punched it so hard her hand went into its chest. The demon fell down, dead. Buffy stood there with her hand covered in its slimy gray blood.  
  
Dawn was huddled by the refrigerator, Xander picked himself up, Willow and Tara were helping each other up, and Angel stood just behind Buffy. They all stared at her.  
  
"I'm so sorry." Buffy whispered.  
  
"Buffy? We're okay. It's all okay." Angel said. Buffy stumbled forwards as she tried to grab onto him. "Buffy, sit down. You'll fall over."  
  
"No.. I can't. Not until I have the antidote."  
  
"Okay. We..we'll make more, we'll take care of it." Willow said.  
  
"Everything's gonna be okay, baby." Angel said, stroking her hair.  
  
He led her upstairs and put her into bed. She forced him to lay with her. The two laid in bed holing onto her stomach. She was so mad at herself for trying to kill their baby. Angel didn't blame her though. He had already forgiven and forgotten.  
  
An hour later, Willow came in and gave Buffy another mug of the antidote. She thanked Willow as the red head left and then looked at Angel.  
  
"It looks like blood from the black plague." Buffy cringed.  
  
"I know, but it'll make you better. Drink up." Angel said.  
  
She scowled at the thick, dark liquid, plugged her nose, and drank in one swig. The look on her face was priceless and it made Angel laugh out loud. Buffy looked at him a little hurt and he pulled her into a tight hug.  
  
"That sucked!" Buffy said.  
  
"Want me to get you something to eat to get rid of the taste?"  
  
"No. Last time you tried to cook for me, you ended up unconscious." Buffy sighed. "I'm fine. I just wanna get back to normal. Well, as normal as I'm ever going to get."  
  
Angel smiled and kissed his wife for the first time in a long while. Why he ever thought that she could have a normal life, he would never figure out. Every day after he had left her standing on the street, he had kicked himself for doing it. It took a lot not to run back to her, grab her into his loving arms, tell her that he did and always would love her, and never let her go again. But fate had had a different plan for the two of them. They were meant to be and that was fine with him. 


End file.
